A Word of Advice for Hipster Hitlers

Last night we saw some pre-Halloween revelers out on the town in "costume," which seemed to consist of the usual terrible wardrobe choice of sagging-pants-reveal-entire-underwear and a fake Hitler-esque mustache, shared among buddies. We'd be a lot more impressed if you chumps showed a little commitment and grew actual, own-hair Hitler mustaches.

Here is how you do it, by the way, without looking like a trashy bigot to your friends and neighbors in the week or so leading up to fright night: grow a whole, normal, non-genocidal mustache, and then (this is the clever part) just shave off the end pieces when you're ready to go!

Halloween Screen: Something Old, Something New

Tonight (Friday) and Saturday (Halloween), check out Thirst at Cinestudio, Trinity College's little old picturesque theatre. This Korean vampire flick with a sci-fi twist exists to satisfy all your modern fetishes. The main character is a tortured soul, torn between his desire to serve humanity and his compulsion to drink their blood. It looks like a visually striking, sexy, blasphemy-fest. We'll take it!

And here's another another opportunity to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show, this time as a Halloween midnight show at Mohegan Sun Casino, a venue sure to be more fun prone than the last time we tried to see Rocky.

They're so Charming and Inclusive in Collinsville

Saturday, Oct. 31: 16^th Annual Collinsville Halloween Parade @ Main Street, Collinsville

A small town Halloween celebration sounds kind of lite for us on the surface, but this isn't just any small town, this is Collinsville, a scenic nook with something for everyone. And while we're sure there will be children and small dogs in attendance, certain of our happily childless, Judas Priest-loving friends who take this holiday very seriously will be there as well, so it must be ok.

They're so Punk in New Haven

Saturday, Oct. 31: Covin @ Cafe Nine, New Haven

Covin and New Haven are so punk rock, they're going to play an all Misfits set on Halloween. As sometimes fans of the Misfits, we don't mind admitting that at this point, Covin will probably be a more authentic (and fun) experience than the real deal. The band's own sound channels classic punk and heavy metal, so we're sure their covers will be convincing.

This Weekend @ The Space: No Sense of Humor, Good Music

Friday, Oct. 30: Halloween Party Thingie @ The Space, Hamden

The Space is a problematic venue for us, in that we totally respect their commitment to live original music, and they often book bands that we like, but we totally resent their preference for a polite, attentive, sober audience. And the fact that they have a "donate" tag on their web page. Uh, no. We have occasionally appreciated a calm, orderly venue, but our best live music experiences have most often involved drinking and shouting, so - it's quite a quandary! For Halloween they will be hosting a bunch of bands we've never heard of, and holding a costume contest involving cash and other prizes.

BUT, they warn: "Inappropriate or overtly sexual costumes will be disqualified!"

Well, there goes all our ideas.

Saturday, Oct. 31: The Dear Hunter @ The Space, Hamden

Thank goodness there's no judgey costume party on Halloween itself! The Dear Hunter sounds like a great band, kind of in the vein of, uh, prog-core bands like the Mars Volta, who everybody liked so much a few years back. Yeah, we think "Dear Hunter" is an annoying sounding name too, but we wouldn't let that stop us.

What Not To Hear: Halestorm

Friday, Oct. 30: Halestorm @ The Webster, Hartford

Frontwoman Lizzie Hale is a babe, no doubt about it. But lest you think we are hating on her for being a moderately successful rocker lady and we're not, let it be known that we like looking at hot chicks, and place no genitalia restrictions on musicians we'll listen to.

Unfortunately Halestorm is just a contemporary cock rock band with a vagina on top, or in the front, or whatever. They don't even bother turning the tables on the expected misogyny. Bland nu-metal is plenty bad enough on it's musical merits alone, but Halestorm go the extra inch with gag-inducing lyrics. Their radio hit, "I Get Off" is all about how excruciatingly hot it is to have some voyeur watch you and think he's getting away with something, but then HAHA, no he isn't, because you're twisted and you love that shit. You win!

Somehow we suspect that Lizzie is not so amorous towards actual stalkers, peeping toms and dressing room crashers. But hey, whatever it takes to get the neanderthal demographic to pay up.

P.S. Sick Hot Topic wardrobe, guys. We totally shopped there. In high school.

NOT Hot at the Lot

Catalina Coffee Co. Morning Coffee

found @ Ocean State Job Lot, Bloomfield

Pantry purchases from tha lot always run the risk of disappointing, but as we've mentioned before, this disappointment generally comes so cheaply that you can't hold a grudge. You might even say it was "worth it" for the knowledge, because knowledge is good.

But some things are too terrible to know, and the "full flavor" of Morning Coffee is one of those. You might think we should know better - coffee from a can, with milk? Really? But it's delicious when Starbucks does it - matter of fact, it's about the only thing they do right! Anyway, the rancid stench hits you first, but if that didn't deter you, you'd be on to the pissy taste.

Morning coffee is cheap at 50 cents a can, but just because you "can" doesn't mean that you should.

My Milkshake Brings all the Whatevers to the You Know

Sometimes (often) instead of eating a "meal" I enjoy a milkshake instead. I enjoy it a lot. My fantastic formula consists of coffee ice cream, unsweetened soy milk, crunchy peanut butter and chocolate syrup. I don't know the exact quantities, and I certainly don't know (or want to consider) the caloric implications. I will say this: use plenty of peanut butter (a heaping tablespoon) and go sparingly with the chocolate, otherwise the chocolate is all you will taste, and then what was the point of including peanut butter at all?

Look, it looks gross in the blender!

And then it looks fine in your glass.

And since I alluded to it and now it's all in your head, let's all enjoy the milkshake song one more time. Maybe you've seen this cute version with high school teachers nerdin' it up? I know, that's some old news, but still adorable! Try my damn milkshake.

Embarrassing-esque

We have oft maintained that it is more or less intellectually lazy to criticize others' shortcomings in the areas of spelling and grammar. But sometimes other people's fuck-ups are just too funny to ignore. And while spelling and grammar in informal venues like message boards and comments sections is one thing, glaring malapropisms on a business website are quite another.

From the Hungry Tiger monthly music calendar:

COLUMBIA FIELDS - Fresh off their new CD release produced by Singer /songwriter Grayson Minney and Eric Health this "Dave Mathews" esk type band

So thanks for the laugh, Hungry Tiger, even if it was cheap and we feel kind of dirty now. Keep on doing what you do. Trad blues and Dave Matthews-esque rock are certainly not our first choice cup of tea, but we appreciate your ongoing commitment to live original entertainment in Connecticut, and the fact that we regularly get hit on by men and women when we do make it out to your joint. Maybe it's something in the tea. We would even consider going to see aging guitar hero Jimi Bell and Diamondback on Oct. 30, if only to get hit on by weird old biker ladies with too much information to share about Mr. Bell's jimmy, but we have actually have hipper, sexier plans that evening.

On Screen: Ad Men

The advertising industry has benefited from cultural cachet thanks to AMC's Mad Men - philandering and alcoholism never looked so sexy! Art & Copy is a real life behind the scenes of memorable advertising. We'd consider checking it out, in spite of all those angry critical essays we may or may not have written in college, taking down boorish, sexist popular culture in general, and evil adverts in particular. Art & Copy is now playing at Real Art Ways. Look how Hartford, CT is part of the exclusive list on their website! We're so fucking sophisticated here.

Semi-related: a friend mentioned this tasteful spot to us yesterday: