Bowl-o-Rama

Last night, Jackie Scenic ventured to the seedy Berlin turnpike. No, not for pay-by-the-hour motels, but for some family bowling. Bowl-o-Rama is just as loud, flourescent and foot-scented as you remember it. The place was full of greasy 16-year olds wearing "System of a Down" hoodies, some pretty hot MILFs with mullets, and we hadn't seen that many Harley Davidson t-shirts since Katie Scenic went to Sturgis.


The actually bowling part was about as fun as that sort of thing can be, and as I have given up alcohal for "lent", I tried to amuse myself with other beverages. First, two club sodas cost me $3.50 and the twenty minutes I spent waiting at the bar for the MIWNLF with mullet to pour them. Later, I desired something more caffeinated, and ventured to the "Snack Bar" for a Pepsi. A nice elderly couple (possibly the owners?) filled my order while I gazed at the "Caution: Microwave in Use" sign. The jukebox has some surprisingly good selections, although the teenagers tend to avoid them. My cousin played some Talking Heads and MJ's "PYT", and it made me feel alright.

We also played with my cousin's Flip Video camera, which was fucking awesome. That is definitely where my tax return will be going. Brace yourselves for some outlandish scenic videos, coming in April.

Spring, Sprang, Sprung

If you're looking for a uniquely modern musical experience with a fantastic indie rock score check out Spring Awakening this weekend at the Bushnell. If it's an epic plot or satisfying resolution you're after, I suggest you wait for Porgy and Bess (coming in June).

Spring Awakening is an awkwardly modernized story of a sexually-repressed German village in the late 1800s. The tension between the contemporary score and the 19th-century setting was a bit cumbersome, and the play's message seems almost irrelevant today.

The stage is set as a classroom where the students are punished for thinking outside the box. As puberty hits, some try to fight it while our protagonist begins to question authority. His intentions are good, but in the second half he takes a quick turn from hero to innocent antagonist, suffering from his own curiosites and taking down those closest to him in the process. We are meant to chastise the authority figures for turning a blind-eye to their children's cries for help, but it is their own disobedience that gets them into trouble.

The hot young cast and hip score is enough to carry the grotesquely tragic story through to its abrupt and dismal ending, though the audience is no better for it. Yes, we know repression is bad. We are angry at the parents who turn their backs on their children, and the teachers who fail to educate them. But as a society we are for the most part beyond this, or at least aware of the consequences. This story should have remained a historical homage, rather than be thrust into the present as though modern music would somehow make it relevant again. Why not write a new script with current language, costume and social issues?

Anyway, like i said... awesome music, hot young cast.

OK, Apparently it's Snuggie week

We've been enjoying Tisane's amusing posters featuring bartender/supermodel Chris Vincent (we totally know him) promoting a martini swilling/virgin sacrificing/karaoke party this Thursday night, Feb. 25. This must be the culmination of the "ugly sweater" thing they were pushing earlier this winter. Our attentive readers know that Jackie Scenic is a proud Snuggie owner and wearer (photographic evidence on the FB). Maybe she will take the stage there for a stirring rendition of some Lady Gaga, or something equally awesome, if such a thing exists.

But wait - there's more! This Saturday night, you can get your Snuggie and your drink on in West Hartford center for a Snuggie pub crawl. We've seen Snuggies, or maybe knockoffs going cheap at the likes of Walgreens and Ocean State Job Lot, so a wardrobe deficit will be no excuse for not participating.

Anyway, enjoy this not-so-fresh but still funny Snuggie parody one more time:

Scene on Screen (a little late): An Education

I *totes* would have seen this movie sooner had I realized it starred none other than Sally Frakking Sparrow, the most adorable, charming one-episode-only Dr. Who character from the best-ever episode "Blink." But all the press photos have showed Carey Mulligan with her new, not-so-hot short haircut, and I didn't make the connection until a few minutes into An Education, when I had the feeling that I know that girl! Because Sally Sparrow is like a friend. I've practically memorized "Blink," and commented on many occasions in praise of the episode that I would eagerly watch a whole series about those brilliantly realized one-off characters.

Well, if you haven't see An Education yet, Mulligan's Sally Sparrow charm caries over to her role as Jenny (and everything else she does, I'm sure), a precocious English schoolgirl coming of age in the early 1960s who gets caught up in an ill-advised affair with an older man, Peter Sarsgaard. Nick Hornby (one of your favorite authors - you know - High Fidelity, About a Boy, Fever Pitch, etc.?) wrote a very clever script, and it's a delight to watch the protagonist's romance unfold and her newly unearned confidence turn to hubris, even as you realize it's completely doomed and a little skeevy to begin with. It's probably the bad romance element that makes this film so palatable to a skeptic like moi. Nevertheless, the tone is light, and there's plenty of laugh-out-loud lines, as well as truly touching moments, and tasty 60s fashion, so let's just call it the romantic comedy of the year. See it with someone you shouldn't ; )

To a Tea in New Hartford: Passiflora

I'm just soooo busy I hardly have the time to explore and report about truly scenic CT. Which is a shame, because while the blåg serves many purposes - outlet for hostility, humor, self-aggrandizement, it is also our mission to promote those things that are truly wonderful in our little state. So it was a real delight yesterday to spend a snow day reprieve from an afternoon of classes in "downtown" New Hartford with my school n' carpool mate Cynthia.


We stopped in at Passiflora "Tea Room & Herbal Shoppe" on Route 44, and now our newest favorite place. When you first walk in you see are greeted by a roomful of herbal remedies, teas, natural body products, homeopathy and assorted New Age-y gifts and crafts. Adjacent is the cafe, which has assorted comfy seating and casual charm. The shop was otherwise empty, so we browsed and chatted with the friendly staff and browsed the tea and food menus. Passiflora offers eclectic organic food with an extensive tea menu, interesting homemade desserts and smoothies and other specialty drinks. I was very tempted by the smoothie menu, but the shop was rather tragically out of bananas, a key ingredient for the best sounding drinks. So that will have to wait for next time.


I sampled a ginger tofu soup which was great and probably very healthy, and ended up ordering a chai latte made with almond milk and loose leaf actually spicy, wonderful tea and a vegan black bean brownie, which probably sounds slightly less awesome than it tasted. Cynthia had a fragrant, flowery green tea blend with lemongrass, rose, jasmine and lemon mytle in the mix, and a rather decadent magic bar. Everything was perfect, and we are so happy to find someplace that takes tea seriously and executes it so well. I will definitely be back to check out that smoothie!


Check out their website for details on natural health, special events and speakers, and consider stopping by on Thursday evenings for their weekly community night of games and conversation.

Trinity Squashes Yale

Congratulations Trinity College Squash Team, on their 12th consecutive US college championship victory in a match against Yale Sunday. In spite of our WeHa upbringings, we here at CT Scenic were deprived of country club membership growing up (and to this day), so we don't really know much about squash, except what we've seen in movies about men. But from what we understand, Trinity is able to dominate the preppy sport among the nation's colleges due to their less-stringent-than-Ivy-League academic standards, and import the best players from all over the world for this annual trouncing of the privileged.

Slow News Day (here too)

Here is an article about nothing, basically. We imagine the editorial direction was something like "Hey, can you give us something more about the swine flu panic? Nothing like beating a dead horse and sending the readers into a panic, eh?" And the intrepid reporter went out looking for "H1N1 Flue Vaccine Supply Dwindles as Demand Spikes," but came back with this.

Oh Dear, More Burlesque - Tonight!

Sunday, Feb. 21: Red Light Burlesque & Variety Show @ Jokers Wild, New Haven

(Ruby, hopefully it's ok to run this tastefully dressed photo)

Thursday night's Creative Cocktail Hour really was the hottest ever, thanks to performances by several burlesque dancers, who made naked dancing seem so clever and charming. One of those performers, Ruby Solitaire (the "Tainted Love" one, for those who attended), along with Kitty Katastrophe and Madame Jynx will perform tonight at Jokers Wild in New Haven, where this a regular Third Thursday event that we've been sadly missing out on, but will rectify that situation asap. We've already corrected for our lack of a "sexy" tag here on the blog.

Good Times + Good Cause = Win-Win

Saturday, Feb. 27: Meriden Human Society Benefit @ Ryders on Main, Meriden

This event combines many of our interests, of both the selfish and selfless variety - taking care of the adorable little homeless animals, as well as budget boozing, feeding our faces, and rocking out. For arriving unfashionably early, for $15 (or $10 in advance) you get free apps, an hour of open bar, and there's something about prizes. And remember, this cover is for an excellent cause - animal welfare. Full disclosure: the bands are friends and/or aquaintences of the blog - bizarre partymonsters Falling Stickmen (check them out on Rhapsody) and New Haven heartthrob Seth Adam. But we wouldn't mention them if we didn't think they were totally worth it. And anyway, just look at that sad puppy (the GSD, not Mr. Adam) and try to resist.

Shag Frenzy: Back in the Saddle

Saturday, Feb. 20: Shag Frenzy @ The Shadow Room, Middletown

Shag Frenzy, now Middletown's "Indie Disco Party," took the month of January off to have a kid (congrats), but now their/her shagging bits are ready for action again, and we're happy to see their "Post Valentine's Day Love-in," is a party with no cover - love really is free, wouldn't you know? Gas and booze are not free though, so anyone wanting to chauffeur our broke asses around, wine and/or dine us that night, drop us a line.

Webster Weekend: Freaks & Creeps

Friday, Feb. 19: Ulteria @ The Webster Underground, Hartford
Saturday, Feb. 20: Skeletonwitch, Doomriders @ The Webster Underground, Hartford

And we mean that in the nicest possible way. We are definitely psyched about the monthly Ulteria party. We are so happy to finally have an appropriate place to wear our best bondage-y styles again - and annoyed that we have to become MySpace friends with them to get a closer look at their flier. Those weirdos can be so touchy about their privacy!

Saturday night some buzzed-about metal bands, Skeletonwitch and Doomriders, play the Underground. So that's cool. Of course, enjoying this show is going to involve overlooking a lot of unpleasantness from the gross metal youth audience, not to mention the sticky, underbathroomed venue.

EXTRA Sexy CCH at RAW

Thursday, Feb. 18: Creative Cocktail Hour @ Real Art Ways, Hartford

We give RAW a disproportionate amount of attention here, but let's face it, they're just that cool. We expect that most of our readers already plan to be in attendance at tomorrow night's Third Thursday party, but it has come to our attention that some of our real life peeps have never even been, so here's a reminder.

There's nothing new on the wall since the last time (just the same old phallic artistry), but this month's live entertainment is Burlesque Nouveu performers Nikki le Villain (pictured) and Lady Lila la Vamp, and that's got us all hot and bothered.

See you there.

Sneak Peak at Edenic Place

Artist Dawn Holder set us up with a few images of her creations which will be included in her upcoming installation at the Hartford Public Library. These are cool. If we had any money, we would definitely commission her to landscape the Scenic home office, which is just begging for an alien/fantasy makeover.

NED LAMONT ANNOUNCED HIS BID FOR GOVERNOR TODAY

Ned Lamont with wife Anne after his announcement at the Old State House in Hartford today.

Some Wednesday Night Comedy with Shuli Egar

This Wednesday come out for some good ol' fashion Brew Ha Ha to support the 2010 Silk City Flick Fest. We've never been to one of these events, but City Steam as brewpub is awesome and we heard a rumor that the comedians are actually quite funny. Either way, we'll be there to support Silk City. Last year's film festival was a huge success and this year promises to be even better.

The comic lineup:

SHULI EGAR (pictured above) - Howard Stern Show's Radio Host of "Miserable Men", Regular on the "Killers of Comedy" Tour

JACK HURNEY - Featured at the Boston Comedy Festival

JAY SUTAY - CT's one and only Stand-Up Pediatrician (?)

The show starts at 7:30pm this Wednesday at City Steam in Hartford. Tix are $20. (Before you gasp in disbelief, remember it's a fundraiser)

Saturday Night Live: Hipsteracana in New Haven

Saturday, Feb. 20: Blood Warrior, Sidewalk Dave, Get Haunted, Pony Bird @ Cafe Nine, New Haven

Be sure and check out this gig, which is being put on by CT's coolest promoter and CT indie label Safety Meeting Records. We've seen (and liked) Blood Warrior's Greg Jamie with his other band O'Death, and we have been digging this country gothic, gospel revivalist, alt-country, folk-punk, whatever you want to call it (we want to call it "hipsteracana" if that's ok) scene for some time now. This should be good. Heck, just look at that flier!

Friday: Art at the Library

Check out Hartford ceramic artist Dawn Holder's newest installation, "The Idea of this Perfect Edenic Place," at a public reception this Friday at the Hartford Public Library's ArtWalk Gallery. Holder's work is evocative of fantasy and fairy tales, with a level of distance and surreality stemming from her use of inanimate media to create organic forms. This latest installation will feature the artist as periodic gardener over its course to her mixed media flowers and plants.

What Not To Hear: Andrew W.K.

Friday, Feb. 19: Andrew W.K. @ Hartford, I Love You - Wadsworth Atheneum, Hartford

We are as impressed as anyone else with the success of the hilariously named Hartford Party Starters Union, and congratulate them on one year of excellent party starting. We are excited that they landed a gig at the very respectable Wadsworth Atheneum, and amazed that they landed such a high-profile (and appropriately "party" obsessed) headliner as Andrew W.K. We understand this FREE(!) show has a limited capacity (700) and is expected to fill up. Some of our friends have expressed concern as to whether they will be able to get in.

And to them we say: Don't worry about it. Andrew W.K. may be handsome (in a long lost relative of Katie Scenic kind of way), and seems very likable and sweet, especially in those hyperactive interview modes he gets into where he talks about how awesome it is when the crowd goes wild and everyone is just getting up on stage and hugging it out and stuff. But let's face it, his music is just not good. It's very funny that he says "party" like a million times, his titles are amusing, and if it's true that he is "classically trained" (we played in the orchestra in middle school, does that make us classically trained too?) then, ok, sure it's slightly interesting/ironic that he should choose to play silly dance rock trash. But seriously, what are you going to do with that? Start a mosh? Hug some random dude with plugs and a hoodie? Gross.

"Hartford, I Love You," is sure to be a seriously rowdy party - maybe the last the the Atheneum will ever want to host. But we aren't going to sweat it if we miss out.

Wiggle Room

In case you missed that:

“We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wiggling it around in excrement. And you have to think, would I want that to be done to me?” -Rep. Nancy Elliott

Finally, someone has said what we're all thinking! If we allow gays to marry there will excrement all over the place. We must stop these disgusting wedding rituals before they start. How do we sleep at night knowing that somewhere in the West End, some man is wiggling around in another man's south end? Good thing voice-of-reason Rep. Nancy Elliott is putting the brakes on this situation before it gets out of control in NH. If only we'd had representation like that in CT before we gave those homos the green light to start inserting whatever they want, wherever they want. I mean, what's next? Two mouths colliding and mixing oral bacteria? A tongue wiggling around a urethral orifice? Pretty soon we'll have babies drinking bodily fluids. Humans are fucking disgusting.

CT Science Center: Heartbreaker

We've lately been seduced all over again by all the Liquid Lounge's sexytalk on the Facebook and the promise that all of our coolest friends would be there, so we decided to give this event another chance. And while we ultimately managed to have a rather hilarious, fun time for ourselves, this was very much in spite of the Liquid Lounge establishment, which went out of it's way to kill our hard-earned buzzes in every way.

It's been a long, unpleasant week, so our first order of business upon arrival was of course to procure drinks. This proved to be almost prohibitively complicated. First you have to stand in an epic line to purchase drink tickets, then go somewhere else and stand in another line to buy a drink with your ticket.

Then there is the matter of food. We are strongly of the belief that if you have payed for admission and are paying for booze already, that there should be some free munchies going around. But noooo. At the Science Center, you have to pay and pay.

We can't help but compare this to our actual favorite party, the Creative Cocktail Hour, where we pay for admission and drinks, but they feed us delicious snacks for nothing. That's how it's done, Science Center.

Those are our biggest complaints. Other problems are that the setting just isn't that hip. The lights are too bright, the colors gaudy, the exhibits a little to kiddie-oriented for our amusement, even when we've been drinking, at which point we generally become our own amusement. Here is a guy playing with some thing:

Here are some people dancing "fiery salsa":

Yeah, sexy baby.

Here is a stripper (we assume?) cleaning up her "exercise pole":

Also:

Seriously.

We aren't just complaining on the internet though. We filled out some comment cards about "the situation."


Highlight of the event: definitely the Absente shots - available for $1 cash! Instant buzz, everything forgotten. Until just now.

Superlula: Taking the Candy Necklace to New Levels

We recently fell in love with Superlula's Etsy shop. Lucky for us, she lives right here in scenic Hartford! Her shop sells adorable candy-inspired jewelry, but her talent doesn't stop there. From the nonpareil rings to the human canvas, Superlula will work with anything that inspires her. In a recent interview she told us about tattoos, Hartford's charm and the upcoming SWAN day. Check it out, while I go get some ice cream...

How long have you been in the Hartford area?

I started working in Hartford in 02, and moved here in 04. I lived in the South End for a few years, and now I'm in the West End- another great neighborhood.

What do you like about Hartford?

I tend to be a small city person, so Hartford suits me well for that reason. Hartford is full of hidden treasures, as far as small businesses and independent places to get food and drinks, or sit with my book and a cup of coffee. Its a lot of fun discovering them, and adding them to my list of go-to places.

What do you hate about Hartford?

Hartford gets a bad rap, I think. I don't always get a positive reaction when I tell someone that I live here, because people just hear about all the scary stuff... not that Hartford doesn't have its share of scary stuff. But, theres quite a bit to like here. My other complaint about Hartford is the lack of punks. Maybe there are punks, and I just don't see them. The music scene is pretty meh. I can't remember the last time a decent tour stopped off in anywhere in Connecticut.

Tell us about your art:

I've been into art my whole life, and I got my BFA from Massachusetts College of Art in '01. That was a great experience and allowed me to get my hands into a lot of things I would never have had access to otherwise. What I'm doing now, is a jewelry project called SuperLula. I hand-cast resin pieces which are turned into beads, pendants and rings; these are really fun and incorporate lots of glitter, sequins, junk food themes, and tattoo themes. I also use a lot of different types of glass beads, pearls, crystals and fancy stuff for a different kind of jewelry. Part of my goal in this is to have a really wide variety of pieces that appeal to different people. Theres been some demand for health-conscious and vegan themed resin pieces, which I am very excited to get started on, and I am currently making large-gauge earrings out of polymer clay.

Where did the candy idea come from?

Who doesn't like candy! I have a tattoo of different kinds of candy on my shin, and thats the one that gets the most compliments from strangers. Candy is very aesthetically pleasing to me; junk food in general is aesthetically pleasing to me. Its bright and colorful and sugary and adorable.

Besides the jewelry making, what other mediums do you work with?

I do a lot of abstract and semi-abstract paintings in acrylic, some with glitter, sequins, beads and photographs glued on. I really like mixed-medium gluing projects. I will occasionally bust out the sewing machine to embellish something or make something new altogether. Sometimes I draw, sometimes I paper mache, sometimes I mess around with my own images in photoshop. My interests are really all over the place, depending on whats inspiring me at the moment.

Do you find it hard to combine art with business?

I've been doing art forever, but combining it with business is something thats relatively new to me. I'm surprised to find that I don't hate the business end of it! I'm able to keep myself organized, and I'm taking a diy approach to marketing and promoting myself.

Where can people buy or view your art?

My jewelry is for sale at www.superlula.etsy.com, and I exhibit/sell at local events. I post that kind of information on my blog, which is www.superlula.com, as well as SuperLula on facebook and twitter.

Anything else you'd like to add?

I'm really excited to be participating in the third annual SWAN Day CT- that stands for Support Women Artists Now. There is an amazing lineup of female artists, musicians, dancers, and talents from the area, and there is even a documentary being filmed about it. If you can, you should really check it out- its on Saturday, April 3rd, at the Warehouse on Bartholemew Street in Hartford.

Hartford Advocate forgets RAW on Valentine's Day; Heartbreak Ensues

For those who care, or have conventionally minded dates to impress, the Hartford Advocate has published this list of Valentine themed things to do this weekend. Wrench in the Works' (pre)V-Day plans sound like a gay old time (like, gay-gay, btw, duh), and we're happy to see them getting some press. But we're baffled by the exclusion of Real Art Ways' Wince: Love Hurts anti-Valentine's day participatory event, at which attendees will share old love letters and other past "artifacts" or romance and heartache, from this rundown, since the Advo is their usual media sponsor and all. Sounds cathartic/hilarious/sad.

CT Scenic won't be in attendance at Wince or any of these - we'll be rocking out to the Murder City Devils in NYC, oblivious to this fake-o holiday silliness. But "an experiment in collective humiliation" sounds pretty great to us, so you all be sure and check it out. Since we won't be there to share, here is an artifact from Katie Scenic's angry myspace blog past, from V-Day 2006, or "can't-be-arsed-day."

Another Shot at Love with CT Science Center

Thursday, Feb. 11: Liquid Lounge @ CT Science Center

We were underwhelmed in the past by the CT Science Center's Liquid Lounge, with it's pricey, difficult-to-obtain drinks and unfitting kid-friendly milieu, but our need to get loaded in diverse settings is strong, so we'll probably be checking out this month's second Thursday party at the museum. Besides, it's, uh, Valentine's week, and we're feeling openhearted. They've promised us cool jazz (bleh), fiery salsa (the dance not the dip), and something called exercise poles (are they anything like stripper poles?). CT Science Center is urging us to continue the boozing all night at something called the Crush Lounge, which sounds extremely sexy, at least judging by that suggestive name. The Science Center is labeling this event "geek-chic," which is great, because that means you can be there and be square.

Scenic Bloggie Love Notes

We have lately been pleased to discover other Hartford area scene-promoting blogs. Blogs like Real Hartford and the Libertine Collective are doing a much more thorough and consistent job than we are at keeping you updated about area events culture. But rather than feel threatened or invalidated by their shining examples, we feel liberated. We will feel free to pilfer - er, share - their excellent content when remember to like things and, in order to forge our own distinct identity, continue to get on with what we do best - wisecracks, navel gazing, Rell bashing, and hitting up the Lot.

Oh, the Irony

Secretary of the State and Democratic candidate for State Attorney General, Susan Bysiewicz, is currently under investigation by none other than the current State Attorney General, Richard "Blumey" Blumenthal. Rumor has it, Camp Bysiewicz obtained a database of citizens' contact info from the SOTS' office, then proceeded to use it to solicit support and donations for her private political campaign. She is now under fire for misusing "official state data for a political campaign". In her defense, Bysiewicz retorted with "Rell did it first" and "It was my campaign's idea". She must have learned those keen debate skills in law school. I can't wait for the day when our entire state is in her capable hands.

Th3 @dv0c8: Keeping Print Media Alive

I don't know what the hell is going on over at The Advocate, but it's nothing a quick filter through Spell/Grammar Check couldn't fix. Maybe whatever stone tablet they are carving into doesn't have this feature, but there's only so far a sentence can run-on before you lose track of it. (See? I even cut that one off before it got out of control.)

Now they've taken to using symbols in place of letters. I can't speak for everyone, but I prefer my articles be decoded before publishing. When I have to stop and translate a cryptogram mid-article, it kind of kills the mood.

I realize not everyone grew up in West Hartford where the education flows like wine, but that's why God invented the blog.

Saturday: CT Roller Girls

We won't pretend at being connoisseurs of roller derby, but what's not to like about a women's sport that combines the nostalgic, awkward charm of rollerskating with the cathartic release of violence? The CT RollerGirls' season opener is this Saturday at the CT Sports Center in a town that exists called Woodbridge. We do have a couple of questions: Will there be beer? And what are the odds that we'll meet a girl there as sarcastically irresistible as Ellen Page? Unless we just go there and meet each other.

Haha, looks like we need to create a "sports" tag. That's not going to be getting very much play around here.

The Moment We've All Been Waiting For (aka What Not to See)

This Thursday your favorite skank-next-door graces New Haven with her giant orange ass:


If they weren't predicting that over 2,000 douchebags were going to attend, I would be all over this NJ Shore-meets-CT Shore scene. Best photo op ever!

What Not To Hear: Mates of State

(Mates of State look as annoying, smug and unlikeable as they sound)

Whilst scanning the calendars for upcoming events of interest, I was dismayed to see the Mates of State are coming to CT (and MA) this month. I've hated this band for years, ever since incidentally seeing them live opening up for Feist in NYC, and have avoided them completely in the meantime. Therefor, in the interest of "keeping it real," I offer you what I had to say about them after that unfortunate gig in February of 2006:

Unfortunately [Feist] had the shittiest opening band ever, Mates of State. the crowd was pretty friendly toward them though, which i guess is a big difference between hipsters and metalheads, who wouldn't hesitate to shout 'you suck!' Mates of State is like 2 hyperactive sexually confused teenagers on Rrozac and Ridlin shouting in your fucking ears for 10 songs in a row that sound like the same crap song. A wonderful example of how people can be both "talented" and "creative" and yet still "suck royally."

Avoid this band Feb. 19 at the Iron Horse and Feb. 20 at the Space.

This Friday: Sophie's Choice Starring Hartford Scene Sluts*

Friday, Feb 5:

Matt Zeiner Band @ The Maple Tree Cafe, Simsbury
vs.
Coulon & Bipolar Jukebox @ Sully's Pub, Hartford

Coulon's Rozz Nash-Coulon

Oh dear, which Hartford area keyboard hottie are you going to choose this Friday? Will it be southern rock inflected Matt Zeiner, or eclectic intellectual Andre Balazs? Since both of these guys have been exposing themselves on stage quite a bit lately, we suggest the Sully's gig, which features NYC-based friends of Doug Wimbish Coulon as headliner, and offers a cool, sexy, melancholic, black chick-fronted antidote to this scourge of moody white suburban guys.

We enjoyed Coulon at last summer's Wimbash and again at a headlining gig, also at Sully's, last fall. We're a little disappointed to note that their previously reported on plans for a living room "salon" tour haven't played out in our area, but what the hell, Sully's may as well be our living room.

*And by "sluts" we mean "all of you," not just the loose women.