Ample Legroom at Buckland Hills

Last week I saw Sherlock Holmes at Showcase Cinemas Buckland Hills. This movie was so mediocre it barely deserves mentioning - the cast and costumes were very attractive, but the script and plot were ridiculous and the overall sensibility was American Hollywood, not at all authentic British, so not at all what I would have hoped for. But I was very excited about the legroom.


The Showcase Cinemas in Manchester is a true monstrosity I would like to never visit again, packed with an endless variety of gross, grossly overpriced fast foods items, a bar, a zillion theatres with allegedly differing degrees of sound and viewing quality... Having been thwarted that evening by an overzealous traffic cop in what was actually an attempt to see The Road, I settled on Sherlock Holmes, because it was there, and looked less shitty than Avatar (which Jackie Scenic thoroughly enjoyed and may blog about some day).

SH turned to be playing in the "Director's Hall" which I think is slightly more expensive, and puts you through a ridiculous ritual of selecting an assigned seat, and then sending around an usher/waiter to ask you if you'd like to order any refreshments. Had the movie been better, it would have been so worth it, because the DH features super comfy chairs, and most importantly, lots of legroom. Ideal for the fidgety, slouchy movie-goer, who usually ends up rudely wedged against the next chair up (me).

Scene on Screen: Antichrist

Well I’m so glad I waited for the opportunity to see Antichrist on the big screen. A movie so visually striking, violent, and sexually graphic definitely deserves better than my little shitbox teevee, and a viewing Real Art Ways always feels like participating in the local culture, as well as the broader “cultural conversation” about this controversial film.

Like I said in my earlier post, I was prepared to be offended by this film, since some of the press about it alleged misogyny and even “unwatchable-ness.” But naturally gifted contrarian that I am, I have come to praise Antichrist, not to bury it. ; )

Firstly, I’d like to talk about all the sex and naked time. It is so refreshing to see bodies and sex uality that look convincing (real) on screen. This is in stark contrast to the ubiquitous airbrushed n’ photoshopped portrayal of bodies usually seen in everything from Playboy to so-called women’s magazines, or the slo-mo, pseudo-passionate, poorly simulated sex of Hollywood movies. Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg both have distinctive, not conventionally beautiful features, but their on-screen sex, in spite of the total misery the movie wallows in, is extremely convincing and actually pretty hot, because I’m convinced that they are real people who have had actual sex before. You could probably call it pornographic, but that has kind of an ugly connotation for an arthouse feature (similarly, cheap genre label "horror" could be applied to the scenes of violence and foreboding wilderness).

Director Lars von Trier is definitely making some kind of grand statement about maleness and femaleness and human nature. But is what he is saying extra offensive to women? I don’t feel extra insulted. The female character happens to go completely berserk, commit terrible acts of violence, and feels incredibly conflicted about her identity and sexuality after the loss of her child, but is that really so farfetched? Especially when the male character is such a condescending douchebag. So if you want to read them as archetypes instead of individual characters (which you can definitely make a case for), then if woman is hysterical, man is a douchebag, which isn’t any better.

And let’s face it, no matter how feminist you feel, no matter how much equity should be striven for in certain aspects of cultural life, men and women cannot be the same with regard to reproduction, as women are still necessarily responsible for gestation, birth and breastfeeding. So there’s nothing wrong about women, real or on screen, feeling extra specially identified with and conflicted about their roles as mothers and sexual beings (versus male casual sperm donors), especially when faced with real or fictional tragedies (no matter how calculated) and/or arrogant intellectual douchebags. Or as I’ve always put it “boys have a penis and girls have a reproductive system.”

Towards the end of the film, Dafoe is wounded and struggling, and feels overwhelmed by the fecundity of nature around him in the woods, and has a vision of being descended upon by a hoard of women. But rather than get all offended by this, I’m going to go ahead and think, hey, that’s interesting that von Trier feels so intimidated by vaginas, but it’s ok, men and women really are different and it’s even ok for them to feel bitter or uncomfortable about it sometimes. I know I do!

I could say more, but this is plenty. Your thoughts? Anyone?

This Freak-end in Hartford

Friday, Jan. 8: Ulteria "Fetish Fashion Night" @ The Webster, Hartford

Regrettably there is apparently never going to be another band* worth seeing the ol' Webster, but we are pleased that recent months have seen the return of goth/industrial/fetish fabulousness to our area to fill the void left by the demise of Bound, which was a very fun monthly party while it lasted. Um, not that we're into that stuff, of course, but you know, we have some really great black strappy items we'd like to wear out some time. How freaky is this party going to be, anyway? Well, freaky enough that their myspace is super secret. Meet us there for further investigation.

Ulteria also puts on a monthly dance/party in New Haven at Partners Cafe.

*Well, we'd consider the Alkaline Trio, but only if we were hard up and not paying for it.

Teatro: In the Heights

In the Heights opened Tuesday at The Bushnell. Opening night was packed with a refreshingly diverse audience, the majority of whom loved the show.

The play was written here in CT by Lin-Manual Miranda while he was a student at Wesleylan University. It worked its way to Broadway, opening in 2008 at The Richard Rogers Theater. In the Heights has received 13 Tony nominations and won 4 awards, including best musical, original score, choreography and orchestration.

The story follows three days in the life of a Dominican-American neighborhood in Washington Heights, New York City. The show features a hot young cast who sing, rap and dance their way through the emotional saga which unfolds; the characters' struggle to fulfill their life ambitions while coming to terms with their place in el barrio. It's not the most unique story, but the characters are charming and the music is engaging. The soundtrack, as well as the dancing, is a blend of hip-hop, salsa, merengue and reggaeton.

This was definitely one of the hipper events I've been to at the Bushnell, the best part being the hot chick selling programs in the aisles of Mortenson Hall. It was obvious that the play's Spanglish dialogue was appreciated, considering Hartford has a large Spanish-speaking poplulation who are not generally the target of the Bushnell's programming. Oh, and their merch is totally hot. You may just want to hang out in the lobby and buy t-shirts.

In the Heights is at the Bushnell through 1/10/09. Tix are $15-$72.

What's Hot at the Lot: French Soda

Rieme "sparkling limonade" from France is $2 a bottle right now at the Lot, with flavors including blood orange and grapefruit. The ingredients are few and natural, and the flavors and carbonation are just right - not to strong or sweet, and the sweetener is beet sugar, not that high fructose corn syrup crap. An ideal drink for the soda elitist.

A Very West Hartford Christmas

I celebrated Christmas this year in scenic WeHa.


Kosherland was kind of a bust. It was supposed to mimic Candyland, but there were no Kosher cards. You just spin the wheel and hop around on the board, stopping to visit Bubby and the Matzah Man. On the other hand, what was seemingly the most useless invention of 2009 has turned out to be quite a fruitful commodity. The Snuggie has already helped me through some tough times: I did a crossword puzzle, ate potato chips and harvested my Farmville crops, all while warm and clad in head-to-toe leopard print! Thank you, Scott Boilen, for all you've done for us.

I saw this thing at Westfarms. I'm scared to comment, because I'm not entirely sure what its supposed to be. Any thoughts?

More Coffee Awesomeness: JoJo's Coffee and Tea

Stuck downtown? Cold? Undercaffeinated?


Look no further than JoJo's Coffee and Tea. They have two locations, one in Hartford and one in New Haven. I don't know New Haven well enough to know their coffee situation, but in Hartford, good ANYTHING is hard to come by.

JoJo's roasts their own beans so the coffee is extremely fresh and way delicious. The atmosphere is that of a typical coffeeshop, a few tables, a few couches, a piano (for some reason) and friendly staff. You almost feel like you're in a real city! There is some outdoor seating as well, looking over scenic Pratt Street. If you haven't been there, it is a quaint little block in downtown Hartford, paved in brick. There are a few good bars and restaurants around, and sometimes they play weird music over the street. I'm not really sure who "they" are, or if they still do it, but it was pretty awesome.


Back to JoJo's. They have the banginest coffee in town, as well as the best hot chocolate possibly in the entire world. I can only describe it as heavenly. They also have homemade granola and granola bars, both bangin, and some other various pastries and sandwiches. They close a little on the early side (5pm in the Hartbeat), so get down there! And let us know how the New Haven spot is...

Check them out at:

22 Pratt Street
Hartford, CT

or

1177 Chapel Street
New Haven, CT

And seriously... get the hot chocolate.

Litchfield: Bohemian Pizza

Only a fool would drive all the way out to Litchfield on a retardedly cold day and not cap off the excursion with a meal at Bohemian Pizza. The quirky shop oozes all kinds of aesthetic charm, with walls plastered in old album covers and other kitsch, a good sized aquarium full of creepy black sucker fish, and a fireplace in the center of the dining room. But that's just the icing - the food is orgasmically good, and I have fantasized about it on more than one occasion since my only other visit there some two years ago...

Check out this caramelized pear salad - it's basically like a pie on greens. With warm, gushy, sweet pears, almond slices and gorgonzola cheese atop a bed of mesclun.

And then there was this pizza, the "Criss Cross," generously - gratuitously even - topped with sausage, chicken, caramelized onions, portabello mushrooms and great hunks of roasted garlic. Am I going to be sweating garlic for days? Yes. But... no regrets.

Bohemian Pizza also features a fine booze list that I didn't tap on this trip, an adjacent bar, and sometimes live music.

Almost Phoenix

Phoenix Records in Waterbury was a key music shopping point for me, especially during the late 90s, when it was the only place to go to buy (and discuss with a panel of experts) albums by then obscure and poorly distributed European metal bands. And later, as my tastes evolved, the only place to go to trade insults and indie rock recommendations with adorable Damon Marzano, who co-owned the store for years after buying out the eccentric entity known as The Professor (who was that guy?).

I heard from Phoenix partner Karl a while back that he was moving the store to Litchfield, but since I don't really have a "music budget" at the moment, and have enjoyed loads of free shit over the past several years as a music journalist, I hadn't checked in for a long time, or got the memo about Damon moving across the country. : (

Today I visited Karl's shop in Litchfield, which I hesitate to call "Phoenix Records" because Karl hesitates to call it that, though I think this self-denial is counterproductive, because what if I'm not the only one who was looking for the store? Point is, nobody really buys music anymore, and most of Karl's current business is stereo equipment sales under the name Puretone Audio. Nevertheless, the store still has racks of CDs, including metal and indie sections, and loads of interesting looking vinyl, new and old. And it's still messy. And you can enjoy a chat with Karl about how much Connecticut sucks for live music - more than ever before in his estimation. So if you want to buy some actual physical musical product the old fashioned way, why would go anywhere else but to this fine independent business?

Fairwell, sweet DWILF

Sexiest Dr. Who incarnation ever, David Tennant, appears as the Doctor for a final time in the special episode "The End of Time Part II," which airs on BBC America this weekend. I don't really know if I can watch anymore after that. Next Doctor Matt Smith is awfully young, and kind of funny looking, and not as nattily dressed. I have to look at shabby, awkward, unfit people every day IRL, so I get a little thrill when the TV puts something sexy in front of me - especially someone like the Doctor, who isn't just cute, but clever too (and witty and magical, etc.). As you can see from the picture (bottom center, as if that needed to be explained), Tennant is basically the only DWILF in the succession of actors to take on the role, at least in an official, cannonic capacity.

As I understand it, sexy Peter Cushing played a character named "Dr. Who" who wasn't exactly the Doctor in two movies. And, pardon my Star Wars fetish, yeah, I wouldn't mind receiving a little discipline from the Grand Moff.

The Doctor has been fleetingly portrayed in a special by the best of British Grants, Hugh and Richard E., who are both rather dashing in their own ways, and need to be in more and better films.

Anyway, BBC America is saying goodbye to to David Tennant all weekend long with Dr. Who marathons leading up to the special which airs tomorrow night at 8:30 & 11:30. Apparently Tennant has filmed a pilot for American television that sounds totally awful (a lawyer with panic attacks coaches his clients to defend themselves, ugh). Hopefully that won't get picked up and he can do something better. But then, this stupid culture made Monk a hit, so people will watch all kinds of inconceivably dumb crap about people with adorable disorders, won't they? Personally, I'd like to see him starring opposite myself in a mumblecore romance, or if that can't be arranged, as Withnail in a highly unnecessary shot-for-shot remake of Withnail and I, since this is the age of the highly unnecessary remake.

Meanwhile, enjoy this ridiculous tribute.