I will forever regret not attending the Woodstock Fair several years ago when Weird Al performed there (some sexy Swedish metal band was competing for my affection that night, if I recall correctly). Anyway, I hoped there would be some equally wonderful novelty on the fair's roster this year, but alas, there is not.
Nevertheless, my interest is piqued by the prospect of the fair's Barnyard Babies Birthing Center, where "fertility management techniques" promise live calve births throughout the weekend-long event. "Mucous is removed from the mouth and nasal passages, the calves are vaccinated as needed, their navel is sterilized, and they are fed colostrum from a bottle." Hot stuff! (Ew, I bet)
Other attractions include a demonstration by the Youth Spam Chef of the Year and assorted eating contests. The fair runs Sept. 4-7.
This is as family friendly as it's going to get around here. I have a sentimental attachment. Don't get used to it.