We leave the house so you don't have to

That's right folks. When we aren't generously reading the newspaper for you, we're going out and having fun - so that you don't have to. And since nothing much is happening this week, we just have to keep talking about last week.

(Lily)

This past Friday, Jackie and DH were "indisposed," so I rounded up highly capable Substitute Scenics, Melinda from The Ninas and Hartford's "Playboy Paparazzi" Tony for that Holiday Spectacular burlesque and variety show we were going on about last week. Actually, Lipgloss Crisis had been in a bit of jam that afternoon looking for a photographer (Lipgloss herself being busy onstage collecting flung garments, performing a musical intermission, and of course schmoozing), so Tony was totally "working" - and totally loving it. And of course lots of people left the house, because at the height of the show short peeps like Melinda and me had to climb the bar for a view.

And what a view! (And what a transition - sheesh, go back to blogger school!) But really, I just wanted to take this opportunity to post about how adorable and sexy and charming everybody's holiday-themed numbers were. Each time I've seen a burlesque show I've ended up with a shit-eating grin (Why do they call it that? Gross!) on my face, and the utmost admiration for the ladies and how gosh-darn fun and clever they make the act of undressing seem.

(Lily)

I honestly couldn't pick a favorite, because everyone performing on Friday has such a strong onstage persona and went in such creative and amusing directions. Lily La Vamp had me laughing my ass off though, coming out for her first act basically dressed as a Christmas tree, complete with decorated tree skirt - and a tree on her head! Ridiculous! And somehow managed to top this insanity with her second act, which featured this gross hair metal tribute to "Sexy Sexy Santa."

(Dot)

I lied last week when I said I had seen Dot Mitzvah perform - I'd really only seen her assist, but I wanted to sound more in the know. And we had had an email exchange where she told me how she tries to make her act funny no matter what else and doesn't worry about being the sexiest. She is totes sexy, but her exaggerated facial expressions and aggressive physicality make her naked body seem like an ingenious punchline, and not anybody's sex object. Not to be outdone by Lily, Dot definitely appeared with a big-ass menorah on her head, scarfed latkes onstage and had equally inspired musical backing.

(Nikki)

Nikki Le Villain wore wintry and Christmas-y gear, but went a little more straight-up sexy with her bits. And she is pretty much scary hot, so we spent her act more or less drooling. Congrats to Tony for keeping a clear head and a clean lens throughout! (Eeeew, Katie, why did you say that?)

(Kitty)

Kitty Katastrophe's first routine really impressed me for telling a little story in a striptease, fleshing out a character who was experiencing the most frustrating party scenario in matter of seconds - and all of it holiday apropos! Poor Miss Kitty was having the most terrible time getting James Dean to notice her under the mistletoe, right there under his nose damn it. She started out in a modest white ensemble and went to increasingly immodest measures to try and get his attention. Alas, he was only a cardboard cutout, but everyone else paid attention.

Stay tuned for more CT burlesque... you'll hear about it as soon as we do. And of course we have much more naked-er pictures, but we like to leave a little something to the imagination and keep you motivated to come out and see for yourself.