Thursday, January 21, 2010

What Not To Hear: Vampire Weekend

Some pop culture artifacts are so mindless and dumb they aren't even worth acknowledging with a snotty blog post, but Vampire Weekend doesn't just have the top album in the country right now, they are also critical darlings. When actually they suck. I don't know when I've heard a more bafflingly annoying song than "Cousins." (Seriously, wtf is this guy on about?) At first I thought this band was pleasantly twee; this feels like a pretentious quirkfest.

Further, they have drawn comparisons to Paul Simon from such disparate outlets as the AV Club and our own Hartford Advocate (who has prematurely ejaculated them the top albums of the year list). Yeah, Paul Simon. Of the many classic artists I was subjected to as a child on interminable car ride singalongs to poorly dubbed cassettes, which time and maturity have since vindicated, Paul Simon has proved an irredeemable stinker. This is like a few years ago, when suddenly it was hip to sound like the Eagles. I mean, really?

Ugh, and if I have to hear another word about how these guys make "literary" music because they attended Columbia University. Yay, liberal arts. Yeah, public school teachers are real intellectual giants. When was the last time you listened to "literary" indie rockers, the Decemberists? That's right, you've since thought better of it.

Keep off the bandwagon. Avoid embarrassing downplaying and justification later by not loving this tripe up now.

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