Zen and the art of making lemonade

You know, when life gives you lemons? And by lemons, we guess we mean douchebars. And by lemonade, we basically mean vodka drinks.

When we go out to events, the best we can hope for is that they will be good events, but sometimes you just can't tell. An event can have buzz, a hott flier graphic, a stunning entertainment line-up, the recommendations of your totally tasteful friends... and still be totally bust. Luckily, this weekend we had each other, the Scenic chemistry was in effect, and everything was fun and funny anyway.


We headed out to the Zen Bar a little after 9 p.m., which, barely beknownst to us had up and moved to Plainville. (No we didn't drive to the old location - but nearly!) The event was being billed as kind of a mini SWAN Day, which was a pretty hot recent event featuring lots of CT lady performers and crafters as part of a broader movement to "Support Women Artists Now." Our local SWAN mobilizer, musician Jennifer Hill was performing along with some other bands and one of our favorite burlesque chickies, Lily la Vamp. We expected the place to be full-up with artists and lesbians.

It was not:


Look, we don't know from guido here at CT Scenic. We go to gay nights, RAW events and punk shows. We've watched Jersey Shore on the teevee but we thought that was all an act by budding famewhores (we totally sympathize) and nobody really dresses or acts that douchey in nature.

We were wrong.

These guys totally work there. The fellow on the left kept resting his hands in his "pants holes." Kind of a modified Al Bundy or something.

Do you all remember that great song from the 80s, "I wear my sun visors at night"? So I can... what? How does that help?

This guy's shirt is busy busy busy. Lot of that going around. Also: hair gel.

Ugh. Pull up your pants, straighten your hat and tuck in your shirt, son. LOL isn't that a Facebook group? God, Facebook group membership: the lazy alternative to having an opinion.

Well, having come all that way and encouraged some of our friends to come out and meet us, we made the best of the situation (GET IT?!) by taking these fine pictures, and at the very least enjoying the music by Jennifer Hill & Co. She plays keyboards and has a nice voice and really catchy songs. We'd like to see her again. We chatted up the one fellow in the place who had fashionable glasses, told him we were trying to take pictures of the Jersey Shore extras in the joint. He was all "what do you expect, it's the Zen Bar. You're not going to find anyone hip." Well, we had no idea! Our experiences at Zen are mostly limited to seeing our pals Bipolar Jukebox play at the old location, and they always brought the fashionistas (you know who you are)! Now we know.

We decided to move along. We made a quick stop to pose with the sign for Hooker St. because we're just that mature. Wonder if that sign is as theft prone as the one for "Satan's Kingdom Road" in New Hartford.


Then it was on to Sully's, where the Soul Merchants were playing. We've mentioned them fondly before and feel some hometown affection, but must admit to consistently missing actually seeing them play. Well, we've been remiss! They are just fantastic. And we generally don't enjoy reggae influenced or horn including musics, in spite of having attended countless ska shows in our younger years (and been raised in a community that values Jazz Band membership above anything else, accomplishment-wise). That Jake Williams (we totally know him) has a brilliant voice! How did that whitey from WeHa get so damn soulful?


The joint was pretty packed, we ran into peep we haven't seen in years and years, we got digits, and drank delicious vodka drinks made from those hot, new ultra-flavored vodkas for girls - Burnett's - seen em around?

Look out for the Soul Merchants - they return to Sully's July 19, and have dates at Cafe Nine in New Haven (July 18) and Jimmy's Seaside in Stamford (July 26). Also look out for Burnett's ridiculous vodka, especially the pink lemonade and fruit punch varieties. We know vodka isn't really supposed to be pink or red, but we just don't care. It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world out there, OK?