Thursday, July 8, 2010

CT Scenic announces a new print edition

During today's perusal of the Onion website, my finger carelessly brushed the trackpad of my laptop, inadvertently opening this link. Aha, our future was suddenly clear: CT Scenic would engage in old fashioned print journalism, handling the local angle while the main office cooked up the national stories and handled the big picture.

(the future CT Scenic/Onion CT HQ)

Reports of the death of print journalism are surely greatly exaggerated, right? Actually, the free weeklies are doing fine, it's the more traditional papers that are faring weakly. I mean come on, everyone loves newspapers, right?

Actually, I view newspapers as vital to our American way of life. After all, how are we supposed to get the fire going in the fireplace, pack our dishes when we move or stay warm at night when sleeping on a park bench without the newspaper. I understand that they can also be read.

That seems boring, but whatever.
In any case, I was sizing up candidates for the demanding editor, you're familiar with the stereotype, I'm sure.

Katie Scenic handles the job now, which is fine for a newfangled internet thingy....

Just like any good reporter, I began my research, which turned up this infernal document.

Seems like this is just a half-baked franchise scam, for a mere $100k you get to publish what they send you, and by the way, don't you dare write anything. Actually, why don't you run along and get me a cup of coffee?

And so it goes, dreams of gainful employment while providing service to the community dashed. Those notions seem as antiquated as the newspaper itself.

All this has given us an idea, watch out for an exciting new 'zine....

(cutup by William S Burroughs)

1 comment:

  1. I've heard agents approach successful bloggers and ask if they have a book to publish. I guess you could answer, "Book, schmook! I've got a whole friggin newspaper!"