Occasionally, in an act of masochism, I read the Hartford Courant. It is generally an unpleasant experience, but sometimes you find a gem in there. Here's a recap so you don't have to sift through the refuse yourselves:
1. At a glance, it looks like more stabbings than shootings this weekend! Win!
2. Fairfield resident, convicted felon and total nutjob, Dane Eisenman, was arrested for attempting to purchase a rifle. Why did he need this rifle? Apparently, every 36,000 years, aliens who live under the sun come to Earth to kill humans, and he needed to be prepared because "They're going to be coming soon". Um, watch out?
The Alien Hunter:
3. They titled an article about a cocaine bust "Nothing to Snort At".
4. In other totally relevant news, some ugly dog photos: http://www.courant.com/news/nation-world/sns-pets-pictures-ugly-dog-competittion,0,5018041.photogallery
5. Oh, and like 8 stories about how hot it is.
Thanks for all you do, Courant.