What: Aerosmith w/The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Where: Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, CT
When: Saturday, Sept. 4, 8pm
In totally bizarre news no one cares about, Aerosmith is on tour. We thought they were dead, and they very well might be, but apparently someone is going to wheel them onto their tour bus and drive them to Mohegan Sun tomorrow night. Once there, we imagine they will be hooked up to oxygen tanks, propped up on chairs, and possibly controlled by marionette strings while their old CDs are played from the PA, or maybe just a boombox. This monstrosity is called "COCKED, LOCKED, AND READY TO ROCK!". No really, we didn't make that up. Aerosmith did.